How do we know when a relationship isn't working.
We have all been there, a great smile, a few flaws, but nobody is perfect. Right?
At first, those few flaws seem manageable... we just won't go to a 5 star restaurant because he holds his fork all wrong and speaks with his mouth full. And on the train I'll just keep up conversation so that he doesn't make vulgar comments when someone who doesn't fit his 'model citizen' image walks into the carriage.
After the first few arguments full of terrible adjectives preceding your name, the light flickers a little. Then the controlling behaviour kicks in and you just think to yourself, its ok, because I can work him into what I want.
Why is it that we women believe that we can use the power of persuasion to teach an old dog new tricks.
Those first signs, they are never one off, that intuition of yours isn't a stomach ache.
So now he says he is head over heels and you're trailing behind, still finding excuses, and working your way around his anger management problems. The intuition has turned into nausea whenever you miss a phone call and all of a sudden he can't live without you. But that you, isn't really you. It's Miss Nausea girl, persuading her way out the door, fantasying about Mr Right Now, transforming into Mr Perfect.
Then you decide, it's time to jump ship, you show the signs and initiate the break up, little Miss Nausea is creeping back into your life but this time for different reasons. Anger management classes that he said he was going to attend, never started, they must have given him the wrong address he says. You already had your goals for the next month all set in motion, get back to the basics and have a little you time. Push that aside Miss Nausea, still more 'trying' required. You know how much he loves you, sure, but he doesn't realise that actions speak louder than words and what you feel in the pit of your stomach isn't love, its fear.
So when is it time to say...
Enough is enough.